The Reduced History of Football

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The story of football as it's never been told before, this is a cock-eyed compilation of match reports, correspondence, and reminiscences from pundits, commentators, players, officials, and spectators who weren't there but should have been—a Victorian public school headmaster bemoans the advent of soccer; PC Scorey records the altercations at the White Horse Cup Final in his notebook; the Russian linesman has second thoughts about Geoff Hurst's goal; God berates the Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires about Maradona's claims of divine intervention; amd David Beckham's hairdresser provides David Seaman with coiffeur tips in the aftermath of the England's World Cup 2002 exit. The nutmegs, tantrums, and penalty-shoot-outs that have provided the ubiquitous topic of male conversation for generations, are entertainingly evoked here.